


A Dash of Salt

by Living_Free



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Domestic, Fluff, M/M, Set in the future, Slice of Life, because he can find problems with a unicorn, except Scott, kurt is a wonderful person, married charles Xavier and Erik lensherr, where everyone is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Just another Saturday afternoon at the Xavier Institute.Erik tires of his hard or hearing husband, and Charles is happily oblivious. Kurt just wants everyone to eat.He's also the only one who may actually like Scott.





	

"Could you pass the salt?"

"Eh?"

"I said, could you pass the salt?" Erik said, elevating his voice slightly.

"Eh?" Charles asked, still confused.

Beside him, Logan sighed, cutting the Professor's food for him with his claws. "Ignore him, Prof, just eat."

"Ooh, food," Charles said, delighted, having just spotted his plate. "This is good, what is it?"

Logan looked confused. "Hang on. KURT!"

"Yes, Logan?" Kurt said, teleporting within inches of his friend. 

"The hell is this?"

Kurt looked hurt at his tone, but answered. "Schnitzel. I make it every Saturday, you inattentive man, you should know by now. It's Erik's favorite dish."

"Just like mother used to make it," Erik concurred happily. "You know what it needs though? Salt. Charles! Pass the damn salt!"

"Eh? Leave me alone, I'm ninety years old!"

"I know, so am I, you old fart!" Erik argued. He expertly levitated the salt shaker over to Charles' hand, then pulled on his wheelchair, dragging the befuddled man over to where he sat. "There," Erik said. "Now, pass me the salt," he said, putting his hand out. 

Charles rolled his eyes and handed it over, feeling his husband's soft hands on his own when he reached out to take the damned item. "Oh," Charles said, realization dawning too late, "you wanted to hold my hand. Well, you don't have to ask, dear, you can just hold it whenever you want." 

Erik looked unamused. "Subtlety is lost on you, dearest. What kind of example are we setting for the young ones?" He asked gesturing at a giggling Kurt and dour Wolverine. 

"I'm three hundred years old," Wolverine deadpanned. "Not exactly a blushing virgin."

"How crass," Erik sniffed, as Kurt burst into shrill giggles. "Oh, look, the Angst-sack has come to join us," he said cruelly, having spotted Scott.

Scott pouted and poked Kurt to ask silently for lunch, which the perpetually happy mutant promptly brought over. "Eat, friend, perhaps good food will fill the void in your soul," Kurt said helpfully. Scott sulked harder for no apparent reason and dug in. 

"You're my second favorite person," Erik informed Kurt, who smiled and nodded before going back to encouraging Scott to eat. 

"Am I the first?" Charles asked lightly. 

"You're terribly daft for a telepath, sweetness," Erik said, eliciting a pout from Charles. "Yes, you're my favorite."

"Oh, good," Charles said, brightening immediately. "Shall we take our food to the patio? I think Angst-sack is getting to me too."

"Professor!" Scott wailed.

Erik just laughed and wheeled his husband and their schnitzels out into the bright afternoon sun.


End file.
